Choices and Twisted Bliss

Fast forward to the next day and my mind is adjusted. I will make it. If I diligently chip away and carve a path back to where I want to be. Although today, being busy in a routine is helping me cope. I'm enjoying the moment of being surrounded by snoring pets and the sound of my son playing games with his friend stationed overseas.

It's a moment of twisted bliss, I feel guilty for wanting to leave. But I know I need the familiar back. I don't want to create a new life here. I want to enjoy the time I have left with my son here and go back to what I know. In hopes that one day he will find his way back to me.

As soon as I got up this morning I immersed myself in routine. It's the first time in weeks I had the opportunity and focus to concentrate on my books as well. So I'm setting my face like flint on this. During my lonely moments here, I will plow through and write as genuinely and diligently as possible. I'm hoping to have at least one project ready for publish.

It's a tough decision to choose to go back but it's the first one I've made with my long-term happiness in mind in decades. It's scary, but liberating. Here we go!