Battle! Me vs., uh, Me???

Yeah that title captured the complicated battle within me. The real me against the me I think I'm supposed to be...the stifled me. The people-pleaser vs. the go-getter. When I was too young to know any better I charged after whatever I wanted. Reminds me of the older movie Michael with John Travolta. He plays the Archangel Michael and likes to fight. He finds a worthy adversary in a bull and they square off. Before they charge, he says "Battle!"

That was me before something in my life told me my personality wasn't good as is. It was too much so, I dialed it down. That's why I sit back and wait for my opportunity. When is that? It's only when I feel super confident about the subject matter and the confusing indecisiveness in the room makes me step up. Or, when I'm trying to impress someone. It finally hit me this morning that this is why my personality is on and off. When I'm on, that's the bull charging. When I'm off, that's me stifling myself. Time to learn how to marry the two and be the real ME all the time!