Can I Have My Heart Back?

If only love could be as dry as a business transaction. You know, you break up and you simply exchange hearts like you're trading DVDs back and forth. Instead, your heart almost goes on auto-pause and freezes.

Not that you can't feel anything. But you definitely don't have access to it any longer. You're not the one at the controls. It's doing its own thing to protect and hopefully heal. It's definitely a process. One day I feel open and ready to move on and the next weepy and ridiculous.

At my age, I no longer want to date. I'm not trying to go on the Golden Bachelor. It's been nineteen years for me as a single woman. I'm over it. The games. The non-committal behavior. The obstacles. It's not like I'm 20 and looking for perfection, either.

Nah, that's for the young. I just want solid connection and a willing heart on the other end. Someone open to the act of togetherness. Someone intelligent enough to know it takes forgiveness to keep a thing going...in any relationship. Hopefully it's still out there for me and I'll have my heart back in time to jump in!