Hurts Like He#$

I decided to write like nobody's reading. I HATE to journal so I guess this blog is my journal. Let me bring you into my life right now. I suck at living in the now, by the way, so this will help me work out some feelings. In other words, if you're reading this bear with my incessant ramblings while I'm searching for some peace.

Empty nesting as a single mom sucks! Sometimes I cry so hard I'm afraid I'll melt inside and die. Makes sense, it is a living hell in there. Today, I felt like a pumpkin that got hollowed out scoop by scoop to make a jagged Jack-O-Lantern lit by a candle inside.

I teleworked alone and apparently that was a bad thing for me. I could hear an echo throughout my house with every breath I took. Ugh. Guilt and shame pounced on me and tried to choke the life out of me for taking my son to Tennessee and leaving him there. With our pets. We all used to live in this house together and now they're gone because of me. And this friggin' house feels like a ghost town. Nothing alive inside. God help me get through it. How long will this last???? Will the hurt evvvvvvvvverrrrr stop???