Love Triggers

Man, it's easier to put the past behind you in theory. In reality? Not so much. It's those dang triggers. You never know when a song, a movie, a book, or any shared memory will surface. Especially with 300+ hours of phone time logged with your ex-whatever. And God knows how many different types of conversations you dabbled into during that time. Dips into your world and stays.

For me, the trigger this time was I became aware I was waiting for my phone to ring. Yikes. After five months and zillions of phone calls, my psyche was convinced another should be coming in soon. Well, it was wrong. Once again, my phone laid there on the chair looking all dark and gloomy. Like my heart felt :-(

At least I'm aware now. Time to let go of any hope that it will light up with my favorite name banner spelled across the top ever again. I think I hear a country song forming up there with that one. What use is the cell now? It never lights up with his name.

Oh, that's right. The other loves of my life call too. My son, my parents, my brother, my friends. So many calls that matter and should not be overlooked. Looking at it that way, I'm one lucky girl. So many people who care and would call the cops to do a Wellness Check on me if I didn't answer within a timely manner. That's what I need to focus on today, what I do have. I am loved and I know it!