Missing Person

Sitting out on my patio this morning as the breeze rifled the leaves on the trees, I wondered what felt wrong on the inside. I felt stripped, empty, invisible. Like I was lost or missing. To the extreme, it's as though my identity was stolen. I know it's because I'm empty nesting alone, but I think there's more to it.

The stillness - other than the wind - helped me to hear my own heart beating. And my own soul talking to me. It was a moment of clarity. The answer that came to me is that I am missing and my identity was stolen. My identity as a single parent is gone. Not completely of course, but the day to day activities of a single parent are missing and I'm unwilling to refill my life.

I'm currently working on a book about empty nesting as a single mom. It's a great project only I'm stalled, because of this. It's not that I don't know how to move on it's that I don't want to. Until I do, I will be lost and floating around belonging to nothing. That's it, that's my insight. No fix, no alternate route. For today, I'm lost. But who knows what the next day will bring. In the words of Scarlett O'Hara from Gone with the Wind, "After all, tomorrow is another day."