Moving Stings

I feel the sting of moving 400 miles from my support team every morning and every evening. At work, I'm busy and distracted from the truth. A friend told me this morning that they think I'm in shock. That felt like a fair assessment. Being a single mom for 16 1/2 years, I built a network of friends and family to lean on back home. And then I just packed up all our stuff and drove away from them all. Shock is a good word.

Leaving them behind felt treacherous anyway. Add even the slightest bit of conflict in any area of my new life and it's hard to bear. It almost feels like I deserve it for abandoning my circle. It wasn't about that, though. It wasn't personal. It was to help my son chase a dream. And to give me a new start.

I have to keep reminding myself of these selling points or I won't survive the severity of the change. I do feel lost. And confused. There is no family to visit on off days. No friends to hang out with to ease the loneliness. Instead, day in and day out you're facing the reality of uprooting your whole life and trying to dig into a new existence at over 50 years old.

We will see how this turns out. Weekend day trips to surrounding sites is the medicine we've been slathering on the wounds to ease the sting. Until it either comes together with a solid why, or we just decide to turn tail and run back home, we will stay positive and try to hack out a new life here. Who knows? Given a little time it could end up being the best move ever.