The Unexpected Plummet and Growing Wings

I wish I could say I was done with the subject of love and loss, but I'm not. I didn't lie in my last post, I did round a corner. Then a memory, a wish, a mention of a name and I'm translated right back into the thick of things. In a grief forest trying to hack out a path of escape.

It's tough when I unexpectedly recount how high I climbed. I was led to the top of a mountain and was pushed off. I plummeted to the ground and went splat! Or so it felt. The BIG talk did it. The proposed trips, identifying pet names for each other, and possible dual writing endeavors. Even as I type I feel the gut punch. Nearly takes the wind out of me.

Got to get back to my happy place. The place of promise. The place of hope. The place of new adventures in a new place. The hard work never stops, does it? I have to fight for myself. For my peace. I have to take this time and remember who I am and what makes me special.

He didn't make me special. He noticed my specialness and was drawn to it like a bug to a light (glad he was the bug). Thinking out loud, that's exactly what will draw the right one, too. My shining bug light. That will be my focus this weekend. Finding that switch and turning that light back on. Not only will I be happier, but I will be prepping myself for my future. Yeah, that's it. I'm going to shine, shine, shine.

Kind of along those lines, I wrote a poem once about a butterfly because everyone talks about metamorphosis. How they transition from caterpillars to beautiful, winged creatures with the ability to fly. Yet, no one talks about the after. They have a short life span from that point.

My poem focused on the carpe diem premise. If your time is limited, then fly baby fly! Here's a line from it, "Can't just die, gotta find my highest high." Nope. Wasn't talking about drugs I was talking about taking life to the tip top and living out your highest dreams. I'm going to take my own advice and fly.